The taste of sweet coffee will now always remind me of being held sweetly.
That night made me realize something. I will never forget that feeling.i loved it. Being held by a guy. it left me wanting more. Is this what they call a sensual awakening? i guess so. i mean, i AM a teenager with hormones raging like crazy. i have to admit that it kind of sounds like i did THAT, but no. I didn’t. I only want to experience THAT with the person who i’m going to spend the rest of my life with and love wholeheartedly. I am content with just hugging.
I’m not saying that i would let just anybody hold me that way. NO. In fact this has just added to my reasons for wanting a man beside me. to hold me. love me. i would reciprocate. I guess that means that i have to limit the hugs i give to my guy friends. I don’t want to give them the wrong idea. if that would make me look like a lesbian because i’m hugging my friends who are girls more often, then so be it. I am comfortable with my sexuality and know that i am very into men.
I hope that i find a great guy , like the person who has made me aware of arousal ,so that i can touch only him in this way. BUT i have a feeling that it would never happen for me any time soon. The last semester of my high school career is almost over. hehe. but i guess it’s ok. i just wanted to have a little taste of going out on dates, the first kiss, buying each other presents, going over to each other’s houses and hanging out with each other’s family while i was inin high school. But i know for sure that it will happen for me someday. i just don’t know when. im guessing when i stop looking for one and immerse myself into something else. That’s what always happens. I guess because people are attracted to People that are attracted to something else entirely. They would be able to see the person release themselves and see that dedication..
But in any case, being careful is very important. i guess now i know why my parents keep fussing about me hugging guys. lol.