So this resolution has been my resolution for the past three years lol and i never achieved it so i guess i wasnt resolved enough. But thanks to my new found friends i feel i have the motivation to do it. to lose 30 pounds! i have decided to start very small because i thought i would be able to do what i used to in my underclassman years in high school…… But I can’t lol.
SO FOR THE FIRST 30 DAYS MY GOAL IS 10 POUNDS!
1) Eat 3x a day [doctor’s recommendations]
2) eat ONLY 1 SERVING per meal
3) eat fruits with every meal!
4) No chips or chocolate!
5) ONLY WATER. (aloe vera is ok i think)
6) EXERCISE ONCE A WEEK FOR 30 MINUTES (CARDIO!!!! hehe good thing i’m learning tinikling XP)
7) Week 2, exercise 2x a week for 1hr each. /(>.<)\
accoring to my trusted sources, eating correctly can go a long way so let’s see where this takes me! SO ATTENTION: EVERY NIGHT I WILL POST A COLLAGE OF MY 3 MEALS AND THE WORK OUT I DO WITHIN THE WEEK. :] i will post up my itinerary for month two when it comes around. THANKS FOR READING AND PLEASE SUPPORT!!! XD
Last night i had a dream that i had a deep connection with this person i’ve never met before. It was the kind of bond that i always wanted with friends. in the very last scene before i woke up, i was laying down on his lap and we were talking. he was asking me about what i drank since my lips looked like a bright red color. i told him that it was juice from a fruit that in my dream was rare and i told him that we had a tree growing in our back yard. Then there was a pause and we were looking into each other’s eyes. His eyes and his face was just handsome. he started to lean in closer and closer and stops and whispers something along the lines of “that fruit may be rare, but you and your lips are even more so since they are the only ones in this planet.” as our lips touched and he kissed me softly, i pushed him away and told him no.
looked up what this meant and apparently when a stranger kisses you it means that there is some crucial aspect of your character that you need to get to know. and when a close friend kisses you it means that there is something in your life is missing.
so analyzing this dream, since the guy felt like a close friend and was a complete stranger in which ive never seen this gorgeous man, it must mean that that bond i had with this stranger is missing from my life and i desire it to be present. In order to achieve that, i have something in myself that is yet to be discovered and pushing him away means that i may not be ready to know what it is or perhaps im too blind to see it.
i dont understand how she connected with every single person so easily.
when she walks in the room, everyone acknowledges her presence. i don’t understand how i’m having a hard time with that. i thought i made ppl feel welcome? apparently not.
MAYROON AKONG NAIS MALAMAN
MAARI BANG MAGTANONG.
ALAM MO BANG MATAGAL NA KITANG INIIBIG
MATAGAL NA KONG NAGHIHINTAY
NGUNIT MAYROON KANG IBANG MINAMAHAL
KUNG KAYAT AKOY DI MO PINAPANSIN
NGUNIT GANUNG PA MAN NAIS KONG MALAMAN MO
ANG PUSO KONG ITOY PARA LANG SAIYO
NANDITO AKO UMIIBIG SAYO
KAHIT NA NAG DUDUGO ANG PUSO
KUNG SAKALING IWANAN KA NIYA
WAG KANG MAGALALA MAY NAG MAMAHAL SAIYO
grabe. when was the last time someone has said something like this to me. and vice versa. siguro i need to rethink what i value .
"one of your greatest talents is that you can make people feel welcome and comfortable around you. you can attract people" - dad
why do i feel as though that’s not the case? As if my efforts have the opposite effect. why do i feel this way when talking to strangers/acquaintances who are clearly having a good time with each other. i feel as if i’m a disturbance in their force that’s trying to singit singit in their circle of comfortability. Even though all i want for them is to be comfortable around me, why can’t i help but feel like they can’t? i don’t understand how to make people feel comfortable talking to me. why does it come so easy for my other siblings? i feel like it goes under and reinforces the category “shallow”
wierdest dream for me ever.
my ex gave me his credit card and brought me to a high end retail store and told me to get anything i wanted (at this point we’ve already broke up). and out of disgust i set my mind to buy the most expensive things and my mom was there as well. but i couldn’t bring myself to do it and couldn’t do that to someone. his father called my mom and screamed at her telling me to get away from his son and that if we wanted to hurt him, might as well buy all the most expensive things. in my head in the dream “ang kapal, he is the one who keeps following me around even though i don’t want him to” and then it transitioned to this part where i was on a boat and he was on another boat five miles away, but i could still see him. i told the driver to make it faster and he jumped off his boat and swam as fast as he could and actually caught up with me and when he got on the boat i woke up.
i think i compartamentalize and forget about emotional pain.
if i were to act and i were asked to feel pain of being left behind, i don’t think i will be able to make it surface unless i was made to feel it.